The wrist

It was a “fun” accident.
Little brother trying to beat big sister
to the bathroom for a nightly ritual called “tubby.”

Big Sister Kimberly was a few steps behind when her brother Paul called out, “I’m first.” The challenge was accepted, and Kimberly quickly overtook Paul who tripped at that very moment. Kimberly, who tumbled over Paul, quickly dusted herself off and raced into the bathroom.

Paul got up, did not cry, but said, “Ouch, ouch, ouch,” all the way to the bathroom where the usual game of I’m First was well underway when Gram entered. She noticed that Paul was favoring his left arm, but still there were no tears – not until she declared Kimberly the winner of the first “tubby.” Through the tears of defeat, it became obvious. Paul attempted to remove his clothing without the use of his right hand, and the “ouch” became much more pronounced when Gram tried to remove the shirt.

Meanwhile, feeling a little guilty at winning the race while her brother was lying on the floor, Kimberly relinquished her first-place tubby finish, thereby allowing Paul to get into the tub – where both he and Gram forgot about the arm. He chased his make-believe fishies with his tubby fishing pole, and he splashed and played with abandon.

Kimberly and Paul were spending the night with Gram and Grandpa, so snacks were enjoyed, bedtime stories were told, and the two settled down for their nighttime repose. The next day, however, Gram placed a call to Mom and Dad to warn them that she was taking Paul to have his arm checked and perhaps to expect to see a a cast on the arm when they arrived.

The trip was an adventure for both Paul and Gram. Knowing this was a first experience for Paul, Gram explained that the doctor would not be sticking him with any needles, as had been the case at his most recent routine visit to the doctor’s office. Paul was a little skeptical, but he agreed to don his coat and hat – if he could have ice cream on the return trip.

Gram counted 40 cars in the parking lot , so she feared a long wait – and she was correct. Beyond the waiting room, Paul spied a vending machine. “Do you have any coins?” he asked and was soon enjoying milk. Next, his attention turned to the automatic door. He was more fascinated that it closed all by itself than he was that it opened when a panel was pressed. In fact, he stood guard at the door to warn everyone else get out of the way of the closing door.

Finally it was his turn. Paul had had 90 minutes to listen for his name on the loudspeaker, so he was pleased when his name was announced. The pleasant nurse’s assistant asked him to stand on a scale, one which was made to resemble a large box. He blinked back the tears and said, “Thanks,” when he was asked to step down. Stepping on a scale was one thing, but being asked to roll up a sleeve seemed like the prelude to a needle. Now the tears seemed to be near again as he changed his gratitude to “No, thanks!” However, the assistant showed Paul a photo of her two children, told him he was only here for pictures today, and she immediately won the cooperation of her patient, who said, “Thanks,” for every other procedure, including the taking of his blood pressure and measuring his heart beat. The nice assistant even gave Paul a bag that contained crayons, pictures to color, and a group of stickers, to which he said, “Thanks!”

Gram and Paul returned to the waiting room, and the have-any-coins and watch-out-for-the-door routines were repeated for more than an hour. Now a few ambulances appeared and were parked just outside the waiting room windows. “Look at the trucks,” Paul exclaimed. It took a few minutes and a few other children to convince Paul that the trucks were, indeed, ambulances. Watching the ambulance crews rearranging the articles within the vehicles made the time pass quickly and gave Paul a new perspective on trucks with a particular purpose. His questions were endless.

When the radiology technician appeared to fetch Paul, there was serious resistance and a barrage of “No, thanks,” until the technician said she had a very neat camera to show the youngster. The radiology room was frightening – even to Gram. However, the technician, who was obviously pregnant, was fascinated with a young boy who continued to say, “Thanks,” at every gesture or “No, thanks” when he tried to reject a suggested action. When she asked Paul to put his hand on the table that had just lowered itself more than 12 inches, however, he said, “No, thanks!” He repeated the entreaty every time the technician started to talk, looking plaintively at his grandmother. Gram signaled her cooperation by tying on the lead-lined apron. Paul then agreed to don his apron and to place his hand where the red lines crossed.

The technician moved to her spot behind the wall and said, “OK. When I count backwards from 3, you hold very, very still. Three, two, one … ready.”

At the signal, Paul said, “Cheese,” in his best picture-taking voice, which was just as loud as when Mom would say the same words at picture-taking time. Three times the procedure was repeated, then the aprons were removed, and Paul was sent back to the waiting room.

Now Paul wanted Gram to make good on her pledge. “We need ice cream, Gram,” he tried.

“After we see the doctor,” she replied. The look returned to Paul’s face. It was a mixture of fear and pain. “There will be no needles. The doctor will tell us how you look on the pictures.” The words seemed to comfort Paul as he took his place beside the automatic doors. His attention returned to his bag of crayons and stickers and to a game that he invented on the spot.

Soon, a male nurse greeted Gram and Paul when the latter’s name was again announced over the loudspeaker. “There’s the doctor,” Paul said, as he gripped Gram’s hand a little harder while they followed the nurse to an examining room. “This is the nurse,” Gram said, remembering a day 30 years earlier when Paul’s uncle confused doctors as male and nurses as female in the same manner.

The first doctor to appear, as luck would have it, was a female. She explained that all of the X-rays were clear and that there were no broken bones. She could find no swelling and no obvious injury. Now the questions flowed quickly. Each time Paul ended his answer with, “Could I put on my jacket?” or “Could I get some ice cream?” Finally, he asked, “Could you get the doctor so I could go home?” The doctor, who was obviously accustomed to the gender confusion, said, “I’m going to send in another doctor to discharge you, but I’m a doctor, too.” Paul’s countenance now looked like it does when his big sister teases him; it seemed to say, “Sure you are.”

"Just do one thing for me, Paul," the doctor said. "Touch your nose." Paul touched his nose -- but with his left, uninjured hand. "With the other hand," the doctor persisted.

"No, thanks!" Paul replied. The doctor understood. Pain was not allowing the youngster to comply, but the wrist was not broken -- good news to report to Mom and Dad.

When the arm was wrapped in an ace bandage and the jacket zipper had been zipped, Paul and Gram made their way to the exit. "Thanks!” Paul shouted as the admission assistants said goodbye to the smiling boy. One more time Paul was able to press the plate to open the doors, and one more time he stood in awe as the doors closed without the aid of a human. On his way past the waiting ambulances, Paul found yet another truck with a special purpose – a sandwich and ice cream wagon. To Gram’s complete surprise, Paul said “No, thanks” to her offer of ice cream, “I just want to go home.”

The surprise tooth

The baby's tooth
popped through
one day before his mother's birthday.

However, Mom was at work, which meant an overnight business trip, so she would not see (read "feel") the new addition to Joseph's grinning smile until she arrived home on her birthday.

"Let's surprise Mom with a party and the tooth," Grammy suggested to two-year-old Paul and four-year-old Kimberly. The suggestion led to creating hand-made birthday cards with pictures of candles and balloons, setting a table with special dishes and napkins, and blowing up a bunch of balloons and shaping them like flowers, flags and dogs.

"We need presents!" Kimberly said.

"We need a cake!" Paul said with the same enthusiasm.

While Paul had fun "undecorating" and then re-decorating his father's uneaten cake from a few days earlier, Kimberly wrapped presents. There were three -- one from Kimberly, one from Paul and one from Joseph. After carefully placing two plants in two party bags and covering them with colored tissue paper, Kimberly wrapped a baby tooth brush and placed it in the third bag as a symbol of the tooth.

She planned that everyone would yell "surprise" a second time as Mom opened the toothbrush and then found the new tooth.

After planning what games could be played at the party, Kimberly organized a practice session for Grandpa, Grammy, Paul and Joseph to hide and then to jump out when she shouted "surprise." She also instructed everyone, "Remember, the last thing is that Mom opens her presents. She will find the toothbrush. We will holler 'surprise' again. She will find the tooth Then the party ends."

Finally the moment arrived. Mom walked through the door. Everyone jumped out as Kimberly shouted, "SURPRISE!" Joseph smiled his "full body smile," but the tooth was too new to be noticed. Kimberly next asked her Mom to bend down, which usually meant she wanted a kiss. "Joseph has a new tooth," Kimberly said in a whisper everyone could hear.

When asked why she had ruined the surprise, Kimberly replied, "I couldn't wait until the end of the party to tell Mom." Four-year-olds: they tell it like it is.

Mary learns "hot"

There are times that lessons
must be learned through experience …
even when the experience hurts several people.

Take, for example, the recent experience of one petite granddaughter named Mary. Mid-way between ages 1 year and 2 years, doing the usual toddler stuff of singing, staggering, and exploring, Mary has learned to dislike the words “no” and “don’t.” In fact, she can be heard adding “okay” to those commands in anticipation of an additional comment to her answer.

When Mom asks, “Mary, do you want more milk?” Mary is known to say, “No. Okay!”

When Dad asks, “Are you ready for your nap?” Mary will respond, “No. Okay!”

Just before Christmas a cheery fire burned brightly in the family room fireplace while Mary spent her two hours in her crib, sleeping and playing in the late winter afternoon. Just before Mary returned to the family room, Gram turned the gas-powered fireplace off and Dad took Mary from the arms of Mom, kissed his daughter and let her loose.

When placed on the floor, Mary moved very quickly toward the fireplace. Before Dad, Mom or Gram could react, the little lady stumbled on a toy and reached out to brace herself for a fall. The fingers on her right hand made contact with the very hot protective glass in front of the fireplace. The scream from Mary told the adults that the toddler was hurt. The immediate blisters on three fingers and a thumb verified the pain.

After a trip to the hospital emergency room by Mom, Dad, Gram and Mary, it was hard to decide who hurt most. Mom wished she had held Mary a little longer. Dad wished he had warned Gram that the glass was hot. Gram wished she had grabbed Mary when she first stumbled. There was a lot of tension in the room and a lot of self-blame for all of the adults to share.

The tension finally subsided when Dad said, “Well, Mary now knows the meaning of the word ‘hot’ and will probably not say, ‘no, okay’ when I tell her something is hot.” Mary was already happily engaged in playing with her toys and did not seem to mind the bandage that caused her to use her left hand a lot. In addition, the painful experience has caused Mary to avoid the area of the fireplace … and of the kitchen stove. Mom, Dad and Gram still cringe when they recall the experience that taught Mary the meaning of “hot.”

Joe saves the hood

When do you trust a child to cross the street by himself?
When do you trust a child to apply toothpaste to his toothbrush?
When do you trust a child to leave his bedroom when he awakens in the morning?

Joseph was mature enough to shepherd his younger siblings home from the school bus stop while still in grade school. When he was older, he found his own college, selected his own first car, and we remember distinctly – several times during his formative years – that someone said of Joseph, “Isn’t he a little young for that?” Perhaps it’s because he has four older brothers as models. Perhaps it’s his natural tendency to lead.

At what age would we allow Joseph to mind his younger siblings for half an hour? Well, the tale told here happened when he was in the sixth grade at age 12. Mom selected him to make certain that his younger sister and youngest brother had company on the two-mile walk from the bus stop to home each day. Indeed, it was a “big deal” that Joseph was allowed to open the locked outside door each day because his school bus arrived almost an earlier than that of his older brothers.

Mom usually arrived home about half an hour after the grade school trio, usually to find the three in the kitchen having milk and a snack selected by Joe. One afternoon, when Mom opened the door, she found Joseph kneeling on the stove. Her instinct caused her to yell, “Joe, get down from that stove!”

“I’m holding up the range hood!” Joseph exclaimed.

Not only was Joe keeping the hood from crashing to the stove, but he had already dispatched his siblings for help. “Chrissy is gone to get Mrs. Bartush (a neighbor) and Christopher is in the basement. I told him to shut off the main circuit breaker. I’m glad you’re here, though, Mom, because I can’t hold this thing much longer,” he explained.

Mrs. Bartush, who came running behind Chrissy, and Mom quickly steadied the hood while Joe jumped down from his perch. Then they lowered the hood to the counter as Christopher returned from his appointed task. Christopher was especially happy that the incident ended without an injury because he had climbed onto the counter and had leaned on the hood to steady himself while getting his own drinking glass from the cupboard – an action usually performed by big brother Joe, who could reach without the aid of a chair.

We learned from all of our children when they were ready to be trusted to do responsible things. They never disappointed us.